|Sharon Isley |
Conceived in rape, Sharon is now a Chemist
and also an assistant pastor at Debra Heights Wesleyan Church in
Iowa. She is available for speaking in her area. --
I am amazed at God’s
love. The sheer delight
expressed in Psalm 130
leaves me speechless.
How is it possible that the
Almighty God, the Creator
and Sustainer of the
Universe, actually cares
How can He look at me,
and not see me as a
disappointment? I was
conceived by an act of
violence. From a very
early age I knew the story.
My father was an alcoholic, and became very violent when drunk.
Apparently after my sister was born, that was pretty much constant.
He was spending all the family’s money on booze, and my mother and
sister lived for about a ear on a single bowl of rice daily.
Mom decided to leave my father, and in a drunken rage he raped
her. I was conceived. Abortion was never considered by my mother.
This is because it was 1964 and it was illegal, and she was Catholic.
Abortion per se wasn’t considered by my father either; instead he
resorted to violence. After he found out about the pregnancy, he
beat mom, kicked her in the stomach, threw her down stairs – all in
an attempt to force a miscarriage.
My mother also was hospitalized during the pregnancy for a severe
kidney infection. Doctors were sure she would have a miscarriage.
Given that my mother has had 4 miscarraiges, it is clear to me that
God had His hand on my life from the very beginning. He was
helping me to grow, protecting me, and making sure that I was not
only born, but born healthy.
I know that pro-choice advocates state that every child has the right
to be wanted and loved. I agree with that. However, not being
wanted, and not being loved, does not mean the child should be
killed. I was not wanted. My mother loved me, but her ambivalence
was clear. She struggled with the emotional impact of her own
abuse, in turn abusing my sisters and me. I was sexually abused by
several family members, beginning at the age of 3.
Despite all of these obstacles, God had a purpose for my life. This
difficult beginning has been the foundation of who I am. It has
developed my character – both my strengths and my weaknesses.
And it has given me a passion for ministering to those who are
hurting, and who need hope.
If a pro-choice advocate had been able to counsel my mother, she
would likely have been told to abort me. I was nothing but a living
reminder of my mother’s trauma, and a financial burden on a soon to
be single mother. Had that counselor been able to see into the
future and know that I was to be abused, that would have confirmed it– an abortion would be more compassionate than bringing an unborn
child into the world to suffer so much.
But think about what this is saying! How is it an act of compassion to
murder an innocent baby, to prevent it from being abused? The
abuse, I lived through. I had a chance to grow up, and through the
grace of God a horrible beginning has become a story of hope and
Yes, every child deserves to be loved and wanted. But first and
formost, every child deserves to live! Had my father succeeded in
taking my life, I would not be making a difference in the lives of
people in my community through my church. My husband would not
have his wife. My children would not exist – a thought that is so
profoundly sad that I can’t bear to think about it!
I am thankful to my mother for doing all she could to make sure I
survived such a difficult beginning. She has made mistakes over the
years, and has sincerely repented and is working on her own issues.
But above all, I am thankful to God. He loves me. He created me.
He knows everything about me. He has a plan for my life. He thinks
about me all the time. I am His passion! He loves me so much, He
came to earth, suffered more than I ever have, died an agonizing
death, descended to Hell itself, and then arose again, just so that I
could be forgiven for my sins and live in His presence for eternity.
And He loves you too, much more than you can ever imagine!