I asked this young woman to share her story so that we can change the mindset of rape conception. As many "KE" does not want her identity known.
"Like I said, very few people know about my story and I am hesitant to give out any type of information that could even lead anyone to assume it's about me. I would, however, feel comfortable if you used the initials "KE" when referring to me.
I was being cared for by nurses, etc. before being placed in my parent's home
" While there should be no shame in her story the world still puts that shame on people like us. I asked her to answer a few questions and this is how she replied. I am most grateful for her willingness to share. Her life like any other human is precious.
1. Are you grateful to be alive?
YES! I've always felt a tinge of jealousy when I heard friends and family talk about the excitement they felt at finding out they were pregnant or hearing the emotions surrounding feeling that first kick or giving birth. The experience that surrounds the pregnancy with me was force, betrayal, deception, secrecy and fear. The "easy" answer to the "problem" of my existence would have been to abort me. According to those in favor of abortion, in cases of rape, it would have been torturous to put my birth mother through carrying me for 9 months and giving birth to me. Thankfully, God had other plans for me and created me within a woman (well, girl) who believed in life and believed that I deserved a chance on this Earth just like everyone else.
2. Is your mother grateful she gave birth.
I can't speak for her, but I think she is. She's been excited to get to know me and the person I've become. For 24 years, she wondered about the person I'd become and if I was happy, and she was so happy to know that I have lived a wonderful life. Without giving birth, she obviously wouldn't have been able to give me to the world. And she sees the talented, well-rounded, thoughtful, sensitive and loving person that I am and is happy that I can share that with the world.
3. Why didn't she choose abortion?
It was never on her radar because of her belief system. Even at 13 years old, she thought abortion was murder and never considered it an option for herself. It simply wasn't the right choice for her.
4. Does she have any regrets? ie rather have kept you
She has spent so many years wondering if she did the right thing. This stemmed from going 24 years not knowing if I was alive & well, happy and healthy. She spent many years wondering if she'd made the right decision and second guessed the decision she'd made as a teenager. When she was reunited with me, she saw that I had wonderful parents, an upbringing that afforded me alot of opportunities to experience things, and had become a successful person. That's all she wanted for me and I believe that she was finally at peace with her decision after learning this.
5. Would she do anything different?
She has mentioned that she wished she could have seen me when I was born. She had a hard time making the decision about whether or not to see me when I was born because she was obviously curious what I would look like, but also knew it would make giving me away very hard. If the clock were reversed, I don't know if she would have done things differently and seen me, but that's one thing she's expressed discomfort over.
6. How do you feel being conceived in rape?
It was hard to hear at first. It was shocking. I grew up very privileged, no family problems or drama, had alot of friends, was in the "in" crowd.. basically lived the good life. In the life I lived, the most embarrassing family issue I ever had was that my mom used to smoke when she was in her 20's. I never remember being exposed to anything negative. And then I was told that I had a "dark" past. It is such a stark contrast from what I grew up around that I have a hard time believing it's a part of me. During high school, I was one of the people who didn't believe abortion... except in cases of rape. Before I found out I was part of this "exception", I had a change of heart and knew it was wrong NO MATTER WHAT. But, knowing that I'm a part of the community of people that are expendable in some people's eyes, even so-called pro-life people's eyes, I've come to realize I can be a voice of change in people's hearts. Like I said, I'm very ashamed of this and I don't envision myself being a vocal spokesperson yet, but I know that I have a place, somehow, in changing people's hearts and minds on this issue.
[I hope I don't sound conceited in this answer, but I just wanted to contrast how good I always perceived my life to be compared to the heinous crime that resulted in my conception.]
7. How many people in your life that you can say love you and are glad you are alive?
You can't put a number on it. My family and friends love me unconditionally. My boyfriend loves me and cares about me endlessly. There are alot of people that I haven't met yet that will be glad that I am alive.
This shows that people conceived in rape are as much human and want to live as any other. We are loved like anyone else and don't deserve to die for the crime of our fathers.