Forever Blessed: My Pro-life Testimony
I have waited so long to share this story. I’ve kept telling myself or trying to convince myself that it wouldn’t be wise to share it, the backlash from certain people and the knowledge one day my youngest would learn how to read. I’ve come to realize that now is the ordained time to share my story about my youngest son Eli Samuel.
In January 2009 my life was forever changed and I was faced with a decision that I never in my life thought I would have to make let alone having to contemplate. At the beginning of 2009 I began to experience symptoms that matched my pregnancies with my two other boys. I was honestly getting scared. Truth be told, I wasn’t dating anyone let alone having sex. I was focusing on my children and trying to get my life on track. In November ’08 I had let an ex-boyfriend crash on my couch so he could get established in PA before bringing his girlfriend and kids up from Maryland. Around this same time I became terribly sick….To the point where I had a hard time functioning. I couldn’t eat or drink without being in severe pain and had hard time breathing. He suggested I go to the local emergency room and he would stay and watch my boys for me while I did. Come to find out that I had a severe case of strep throat. I was given an antibiotic and a narcotic pain medication vicodin and was told to take 1-2 every 6 hours as needed for pain. With me having two young boys to take care of I only took the medication after they were in bed.
I knew I hadn't remembered to consenting and frankly wouldn't have. God was finally become the priority of my life and He was using me in the church. I wasn't going to willingly mess that up. I knew something was up... I took a home pregnancy test and I cannot begin to explain to you fully the emotions and feelings I experienced those 3 minutes.
I imagine it went something along the lines of me questioning God and wondering how stupid I could have been to let my ex stay on my couch. I felt abandoned, worried, alone and petrified of the test would say...
A bright + sign on it...
I had been raped while under the influence of pain meds and now I'm pregnant. Some kind of sick, cruel joke. I just can't be. I had just fallen into the category of women I said that was okay to have an abortion. I was raped and carrying his child. I had made no choice in the matter, yet I was stuck.
I wrestled back and forth with abortion or continuing the pregnancy. I had a second test done at a women's center to confirm the home one. I went on auto pilot mode I guess...I called an OB office to make an appointment.
They had me schedule an ultrasound because they were unsure of gestational age. Once I saw the screen and I saw he had already formed into a baby. My mind was made up... I realized all that I couldn't abort this child inside of me.
God's hand was on me through the entire pregnancy. So many blessings occurred and could only have happened by HIS grace, mercy and love. My church family helped carry me when I couldn't "walk" from severe exhaustion in all areas.
I am so glad I didn't abort my youngest son because of the sin of his father. He has brought so much into my life, the life of my church and others... Life wouldn't be the same without my precious little man Eli!